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love & marriage & fighting in the truck

@dmossthered & I went on our first date again last night. except this one didn't end in me refusing to be his girlfriend. ;) glad I changed my mind.
thursday night david & I went on our first day again. except for this time it did not end in me refusing to be his girlfriend. it was a lot more fun the second time, too. just saying.

sometimes people ask me when I knew I wanted to marry David. I know exactly when I decided that, actually. & it wasn’t in the middle of a dinner date or a walk at the rez.it was during a fight in his truck. we were in the middle of a big argument–one of those where you get buried in selfishness and you can’t see the other person’s side. I said something unkind & then sat withdrawn, crying in the passenger seat. it got really quiet. & then I heard the noise of someone opening their mouth to say something. & I braced myself for something pretty bad. I deserved it, I reasoned. but instead, I heard David say calmly & decisively, “Ruth Ann, I love you & I’m really glad I’m with you right now.”

sometimes weddings seem really perfect. I’ve sat in the pew, wondering if it was even possible for me to ever have a relationship like the one on stage. & today, David & I are going to be the ones standing at the front. but we can tell you that our relationship has not been perfect. we’ve had conflict–not just the where should we eat dinner kind, but the curled up in a ball sobbing kind. we’ve wronged each other numerous times & we have failures of communication. sometimes we just get in a bad mood.

David’s & my relationship isn’t perfect. but it’s good–beautifully, gloriously good. the God of grace rescues us from ourselves time & time again– giving us mercy for one another, pricking us to strive for peace, making us one. making us new. ultimately I think we could both agree that being together has been an adventure in not getting what we deserve. expecting cold words from the drivers seat & receiving a loving embrace instead. deserving judgement & receiving understanding. we don’t do this perfectly. but we’re learning.

we met studying the book of Romans & decided we had feelings for each other translating 1 John from ancient Greek to English. in our Greek class the professor called roll by how many hours you studied. spending so much time together in the Word forced us to think about a lot of things. & the part of 1 John I dwell on over & over is in chapter four. We love because He first loved us. 

& we do. David & I both deserved death & received life… life abundant, spilling over with joy. any love & grace we have with one another is born out of the great love–the never stopping, never giving up, unbreaking, always & forever love–that we’ve been shown. we’re exciting to share a tiny smidge of that love with one another today. this is a good life that we get to live. thanks be to God for his indescribable gift.

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