the weather earlier this week was that sort of icky that gets deep down in your bones & my mood pretty much matched it– sad, cranky & generally gloomy. but wednesday night david & I played chess & went to church & talked for awhile. & as I drove back to clinton, I was overcome by thankful. & I kind of have been since then.
thankful for david who is kind & gentle when I am crummy & reclusive. thankful for his humble leadership, his steady love, his unwavering rationality. thankful for the seemingly unending grace god gives him with me. thankful for a tiny glimpse of what it’s like to be loved by christ, a taste of how god sees me.
thankful for the kind of friends that help me understand why people can’t shut up about community. thankful that my best friends from college are mostly in the metro area. that’s really rare. thankful for those people that talk sense into me, spend time with me, make oreo balls with me, pray for me. thankful for friends who let me deep into their lives. thankful that we were never ever ever meant to do any of this alone.
thankful for a mom who is the most organized & helpful wedding planner, for a dad who sends valentines day cards still.
thankful for a job that never fails to challenge, to inspire me to be better & work harder. thankful for people who teach & support me. thankful that although my life is hectic, it is never boring. thankful for my 287 new friends who consistently push me, frustrate me, & make me laugh really hard (usually all three in the span of 30 minutes).
thankful that I get to live in this city I love so much, this city full of people so dear to me. thankful for the neighborhood, the park, tutoring, friends across the street, friends from clinton who drop by. thankful for this warm little house Jenna & I share. thankful for grace, peace & morning light. & also chickfila breakfast before prosat.
when the world looks grey for multiple days & you’re really cranky it’s easy to forget to say thanks. it’s easy to forget what a magic existence I’ve been given. anne lamott says the two best prayers she knows are ‘help me help me help me’ & ‘thank you thank you thank you.’ this year has taught me a lot about the former. but I want to pray (& live) the latter just as desperately.