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on not being able to do everything

bedtime reading. "we cannot do everything... this enables us to do something... an opportunity for the Lord's grace to enter & do the rest." thankful.

I want to be a good teacher & start a Spanish club & hang out with my sister & run half marathons & tutor & have a birthday party for everyone & write some grants & cook something new every week & plan a wedding & have all my neighbors over for dinner & hang out with David lots & be part of a great small group & keep my house really clean & go pick up things from craigslist & put coupons on my kroger card & plan really engaging lessons.

but I can’t do all those things at the same time. some things have to lose. unfortunately lots of times the things that lose are things like sleep, a clean house, & grocery shopping… which are the very things that make the other things possible.

when I can’t do everything it sometimes makes me feel like a failure. like I’m not as strong or organized or responsible as I should be. like if only I did a better job of time management I could fit everything in. & if I did a better job with time management, I could probably fit a couple more things in. but I don’t think I’ll ever be able to do it all, no matter how well I use my iPhone & planner.

so I’m trying to learn to prioritize. to learn that saying no doesn’t make me selfish or incapable or a bad person. & to give up the idea of control, the idea that things will fall apart if I don’t do everything. a lot of my frantic-ness has to do with a lack of trust, a lack of belief that god will “pick up the slack” I am leaving behind. that’s wrong. & it’s a pretty prideful way to look at life. so here’s to breathing deep, saying no, & not feeling guilty for resting. I don’t know how to do any of those things. but I want to learn.

p.s. the book pictured is this common prayer pocket book, which I recommend.
p.p.s. this is a good post from a favorite author about living anti-frantic.

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2 responses »

  1. wesleighseesthebeauty

    Ruth Ann: I swear your words speak to my soul in every blog post. I feel like we’re cut from the same cloth sometimes. So happy to join the blogging world..you were my inspiration, after all. In many ways, actually. Love you so much!

    Reply
  2. Loved this one. Feel like you described my life.

    Reply

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